rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
