There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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