Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
