Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
