I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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