the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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