u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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