I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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