I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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