Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
