Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
