Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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