I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
