Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
