does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
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the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
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I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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