Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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