Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
