Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
