she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
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Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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