My hand turned me down
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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