I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize