Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
