So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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