We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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