He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
