why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
