Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
