i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
