if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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