Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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