She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
