if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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