Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
