i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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