GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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