Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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