we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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