I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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