I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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