honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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