She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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