Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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