I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
