I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
