i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
third nipple confirmed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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