This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
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im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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