That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
