He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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