But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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