I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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