So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize