the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
