Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
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this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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