Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Randomize
