so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am midnight drunk by noon
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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