Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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