About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
