didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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